Reflection

The sudden passing of a friend in February kind of threw me for a loop. For a few days I withdrew into my thoughts to contemplate the things I would miss with this friend no longer here, and to honour the memories I had of her. Whenever we lose someone in our life it causes us to reflect upon so many things—the frailty of life being one of them, our own mortality as well as the mortality of those closest to us, the things we haven’t yet accomplished that we’d like to, the relationships we forge and so, so much more.

When we get to a certain age, we begin to understand that life doesn’t always make sense. Good things happen, bad things happen, and we have no idea why. We can become angry and bitter over the things we deem senseless in this world and yet delight when good things happen that also don’t make sense. (If that makes sense!)

I’m not sure that life is supposed to make sense. If it did make sense all the time, I think we’d lose a little of the wonder and the magic that exists in the world. And without the wonder and the magic what would that do to our hopes and dreams and wishes? Without magic I’m almost certain all those things wouldn’t exist. Why would we ever wish for something or allow our hopes to propel us into some crazy new direction, why would set our dreams on anything other than the reality we now have if there wasn’t some force out there capable of making our hopes, dreams and wishes come true? Wouldn’t we simply go through our days and wait for life to happen? How drab, how utterly mundane and ordinary, how sad.

Truthfully, I’m glad to live in a world that doesn’t always make sense, where strange, out of the ordinary things sometimes happen, where people overcome insurmountable odds, a world that fills us with delight and yes, sometimes, sorrow. My friend once sent me a link to a site about fairy homes. There are those who might say that a site like that doesn’t make any sense, and maybe it doesn’t, but so what?

If I was looking for things to always make sense I might have said a long time ago there’s no sense in trying to get published. I might have said it’s too hard to a thing to accomplish. I might have looked at the stats from some of the literary magazines I submitted to (we receive over 1200 submissions a year and publish 5%) and said the odds are not in my favour. I might have said, I have no one to show me the way. I might have counted the rejections (I had a few file folders filled) and said it isn’t meant to be. I might have said I’ve never once taken a writing course. I might have said I don’t know one single solitary writer in the entire world. But I didn’t say those things. I kept doing what I was doing even though there were times that it didn’t make sense to be doing it. (Seriously, some of my friends worried about the postage I was spending and if it was actually “paying off”) I kept wishing and hoping and dreaming…and writing.

And for those people who think life makes perfect sense, that if we dig deep enough we’ll find out exactly why things happen, I feel a little sad. I might be a Pollyanna, I might set my sights on things that seem an impossibility, but I’d rather live in a world of magic and wonder than a world that just is.

R.I.P my friend–the next time I find a fairy house in the woods I’ll think of you.

Do you believe in magic and wonder or in a world that always makes sense?
(Please drop in next time when author Heather Wright will be a guest on my blog. Heather will be telling us about her new book : Writing Fiction: A Guide for Preteens.”

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21 Comments

  1. Thanks for writing and for sharing this, Laura. When we lost her, I was also thrown off balance. And, I didn’t know her as well as you did. I did feel this powerful feeling that needed to take a moment and pause and reflect, instead of just moving on with our daily lives.

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    • It took awhile before I felt ready to write something, but felt I needed to. She was such a supportive person, always sharing my writerly accomplishments and generally encouraging me along the way. I miss her.

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  2. Life/death doesn’t always make since to us, does it? I can understand it throwing you into a loop. I am so sorry for the pain and confusion you are going through.

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  3. Please accept my condolences for the loss of your friend. Being alive is magic enough for me. ❤

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  4. Remember that when we remember those we have lost, we give them immortality.

    Oh yes, Laura. I believe in magic and fairies and that there are angels among us. I believe that when we “wish” we are talking to the universe. I believe that the universe sends us what we wish for … and thus … be careful what you wish for.

    There is a force we cannot touch and cannot understand and it is that force that guides us along the pathways of our life. Of course, bad things happen … for without one how would we know the difference? Our sorrow is in equal measure to our joy.

    Rejoice that you knew someone who believed and please … never stop looking for those fairy houses 🙂

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    • Thanks, Florence. I’m so glad you believe in the wonders of this world, Florence! I’m glad for anyone who does, and a little sad for those who don’t. You’re right, life is a balance, the sorrow and the sublime.

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  5. Thanks for this. I lost a 53 year old friend a few months ago and am still getting over it. (If you ever do) This was a good reflection. Sending hugs across the ocean. XO

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  6. I related very much to your reflections in today, Laura. Sorry for your loss. Wishing you extra joy, comfort and magic the upcoming weeks and months. . . .

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  7. Judi

     /  March 16, 2015

    Thanks, Laura. We miss her everyday, and especially on Mondays. I still except to see her in there with one of her machines working on some new project. It was so sad and unexpected as most things like this is. Yes, I believe whole heartedly in higher powers and magic. Without it how would we have anything to believe in. I believe that I have “Angels” watching over us and I take advantage of them every single day. Sometimes something will happen and I feel like someone or something has prevented me to move and come to find out if I would have carried on I would have fallen and hurt myself. So I look up and say “Thank you” to who ever helped me. I hope this makes sense to you, it’s sort of just a feeling you have.

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    • It makes perfect sense. Intuition is one of those magical things that helps direct us in life. Sometimes we listen, sometimes we don’t. It is strange the way we expect to suddenly see someone who has passed even though our logical mind knows better.

      As for saying ‘thank you” I do it all the time. Gratitude is something we should all practise.

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  8. I’m sorry, Laura, about your loss and sorrow. I pray you will find comfort in your memories and strength in the value your friend’s life added to yours. ((Hugs))

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  9. I’m sorry for this loss. A good friend gone too soon. As we get older, we become more aware of life’s fragility and the precious nature of relationships we took for granted. My Christian faith reassures me that God is in control and I don’t have to understand the positives and negatives that are a part of life, but there are still a lot of realities that can be difficult. I like to stay open to the little everyday joys that provide balance and help me experience wonder.

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    • Thanks, Carol. This particular was so supportive of my writing over the years. I so appreciated that. I guess when I speak of magic, I do mean it as God’s guiding hand. All the miracles in our lives, the big and the small is something we should be thankful and know that we live in a world where we are constantly reminded of God’s presence. We only have to believe and we will see it.

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  10. Death does have a way of making us stop, think and re-evaluate life. Perhaps it is the world’s way of keeping us focussed or on track, making us realise that maybe things should change.

    I do believe in fairy magic, the magic of the earth, the trees and spirits that live within them. I believe there are other realms we sometimes see in dreams, realms that can influence us and perhaps we travel in at other times when our host bodies can no longer support us.

    Things don’t always make sense because we can’t see the big picture. It probably will make sense some day, or at least somethings will make sense after we live them, evaluate them.

    I know I should enjoy the non-sense–it is where life really lives–but sometimes I really need things to make sense.

    I’m sorry to hear about your friend. I’m certainly your life was richer for knowing her, and I’m certain her life was richer for knowing you. Sometimes our relationships with other humans are the only things that make sense.

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  11. Coming to peace with life not making sense was a true awakening for me. I lost several loved ones before that happened. Remember how our parents and then ourselves tried to shield our loved ones from the pain of life? Yet, it’s essential if we are to recognize miracles and magic when they happen. Part of me is terribly sorry for your loss. The other part of me recognizes the importance of surviving such a loss. Life doesn’t end here, nor do the people we love and lost. Thanks for sharing this powerful message, Laura.

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