There’s No Going Back to What Was

Someone posted a sort of Christmas wish on Facebook this morning, basically asking for things to go back to the way they were. While I understood the sentiment, I knew that wasn’t about to happen. Our world has changed and continues to change. Having things the “way they were” would only keep us stuck. Life continually evolves.

Do I like what is happening at the moment in our world? Absolutely not. I’m not sure there’s a single person out there who does. During the past two years we’ve endured a lot as a society, both collectively and personally. Do I wish things were different? Absolutely. But wishes alone do not bring something to fruition.

Here’s the thing, our world will not go back to what was. How can it? As a result of the changes to our world, we have also changed, maybe in ways we’re not aware of yet. Change does not always have to be dramatic. Change can be as subtle as the soft shifting of the wind, and often is.

There’s this instinct in us to take notice of the negative aspects of change, instead of embracing the positive. I have seen families at odds this past while, posting their hurt on Facebook which is why I stayed away from social media for a few months and only stayed connected with my kids and siblings through group chats. Honestly, it hurts to see families at odds.

But here’s what I’ve observed, we ask others to be understanding and tolerant with us for the choices we’ve made and yet don’t afford those people that same understanding back. It’s a two way street. Maybe what we need to remember is that once we have passed through this time in our world’s history we may want and need the support of these people we were once at odds with simply because we made different choices along the way. Sometimes, we just need to agree to disagree about something and stop being offend when someone doesn’t share our point of view.

Someone also posted a very positive message, explaining why she didn’t feel comfortable mingling with some people in her life right now, because of the position she was in with regards to other family members who are particularly vulnerable at this time. She asked that people not be offended if she asked that they not join her for Christmas. It was a very kind and thoughtful post, and seriously if anyone found themselves offended then it was because they choose to be. Which shows that there is a kind and loving way to express your point of view if you really want to.

Personally, I have long given up the need to persuade others into thinking the way I do, even when I was so certain it would be for the betterment of them. We all make choices in our lives and they need to be our choices, not someone else’s. What I know is that, people may change the way they think about something, but more than likely it won’t be through an argument with family or friends. None of us want to be bullied into something. If and when we feel a need to change our views on something it will happen in its own good time, but only if and when we are ready. In other words, save your breath and your friendships.

If we’re being honest, there have also been some good things happening these past couple of years as well. People are connecting with one another in ways they weren’t before. It’s caused some of us to realize what’s truly important. Some folks now enjoy working from home. For them, this has been something positive. Many of us have stepped up to do acts of kindness for others and all of us have had to draw on our own inner strength to get us through some days. Recognizing who we are, and what we’re capable of, when hard times come our way is a good thing. It helps build our self-esteem.

Will things every go back to the way they were? My answer to that is no. But perhaps you share a different sentiment, perhaps you are waiting for life to go back to the good old times we are used to. While my answer is no, yours may very well be yes.

New Year’s Intentions

I’ve always loved the thought of a brand new year, like a sparkling white field of snow spread before me, unmarred; perfect and new. I wait for it with anticipation. I have never been one for New Year’s resolutions. Our resolutions tend to fall to the wayside a few weeks into January. We promise ourselves we’ll loose weight, start an exercise regime or give up bad habits. We undertake to be less judgemental of others, have more patience, be more loving, all with a strong resolve that this is the way we will better our lives. And we do mean it…Damn it!

So I scrapped the idea of a New Year’s resolution many years ago.

Instead, on New Year”s Eve I create of list of intentions for the coming year. I prefer the word intentions instead of dreams because dreams sometimes have a way of eluding us, something that we hope for but can never attain whereas intentions seem very plausible; something that we intend to do or accomplish. If we intend it we CAN make it happen and why not?

This past year has been an amazing year for me. What once occupied a space on my list of intentions has become reality, sometimes surpassing even my own expectations. My first novel was published, I participated at Word on the Street, attended book signings, and met so many, many wonderful people, hopefully learned a bit about the publishing industry and so much more. It’s been a year of much joy and happiness. It’s been a year for family and friends.  A year when perfect strangers have bestowed acts of kindness upon me that will never be forgotten.

I haven’t yet sat down to write my list but I know that number one will be.

I intend to always give thanks for all the remarkable blessings in my life!

So, Happy New Year to you all! Thank you all for your support and your over all remarkableness…May your intentions become reality….


As we head into 2010 what are your intentions for this brand new year?

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