Deciding What Matters Most

I’ve spent a lot of time hating the pandemic, feeling like a victim, a captive, while reading about its progression though-out the world. The weeks/ months of isolation when we couldn’t be near family and friends took a devastating toll upon many of us. In the beginning months, I sat mesmerized, horrified, in front of the TV, listening as many of us did. Horrified and yet oddly fascinated at the same time. Was this really happening to the world? For many months the pandemic was my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. The uncertainty we found ourselves in as we tried to sifted through news reports and info–deciding for ourselves what was real and what was false.

I’m not getting into any discussions on vaccinations or even the handling of this whole nightmarish event, but rather, what struck me this morning was our ability to find some good in the chaos that is now before us.

As with everything that appears bad on the outside, there is usually something good to be found if we choose to. I think that’s the optimal word here–choose. We have to choose to see the good, no matter how hard we might have to look.

We can look at the many acts of kindness that people have been a part of, the sometimes creative ways they have come up with to connect with one another without “physically” connecting. I wouldn’t be surprised if many people have realized that the things they previous held precious in this world have now suddenly changed. We value relationships more, and time spent with loved ones, not just giving it lip service, but actually feeling it. I know I do.

I can only imagine that as we head into another Christmas season during a pandemic, we will find a way to make the best of what we have.

We always have a choice in life as to how we will look at situations and circumstances. My hope, is that each of us will find a way to create special moments and make the choice to enjoy what is there before us rather than longing for the way Christmas used to be.

Self-Motivation: a.k.a the Art of Sucking it up

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.
~~Wayne Dyer

Yeah, I know, we’ve all been told to suck it up a time or two, either by ourselves or someone else. That’s where I am at the present moment– deep in the midst of sucking it up. Want to join me?

I sometimes lack the motivation to write every day I wish it weren’t so, but it’s the truth.This doesn’t mean I don’t think about writing those times when I’m not actually doing it, because I can honestly say that scarcely a day goes by when I don’t at least think about my current WIP a few times and try to settle things in my mind.

Someone once told me I think too much. Well, I’m a writer. Writers need to spend as much time thinking as they do writing. Or at least this writer does. The worlds we create are not just on the page, but they take up residence in our minds as well.Sometimes there’s not a lot of room to spare.

I get the impression that other people think I never have my dark times, that everything’s always great in my world, that everything’s simply sunshine and roses. While I’ll admit that, I like to keep a positive attitude and I like to encourage others to do the same, everything isn’t always the way I’d like it to be any more than it is for anyone else. Like everyone else, I have my share of disappointments. It’s part of being human. The only thing is, I don’t often share those disappointments with others. I hang onto them in silence. It’s not a pretty thing when I whine. Believe me.

Today was one of those days when a little bit of everything was getting me down, when I was questioning my abilities, when, for a brief time, I wondered what would happen if I never wrote another word. Would anyone care or even notice? We live in a rather fickle society. We might not like to admit it but it’s the truth. It’s easy for someone to simply disappear unnoticed, unless you’re rich and famous. And, let’s face it, most of us aren’t.

Oh, for a time I certainly did have my doubts today.I even questioned the importance of writing to me, knowing that along the way there have been sacrifices and missed opportunities in other areas of my life because I am a writer, and because sometimes writing has to come first. I realize not everyone understands this and, sadly, I’ve seen where it has changed some of the friendships I have. Out of sight, out of mind. I don’t blame anyone. Sometimes I’m probably not much fun to be around. People begin to forget that you’re more than just what you’ve written or what you are writing. Because of this other side of my life, I can’t be everything to everyone the way I once could.I can’t drop what I’m doing and go play. There’s just not enough of me to go around. Let’s not forget that most writers have to work at something other than writing in order to make a living. I’m no exception.

So what to do? I’m not exactly sure. I can only be sure that whatever I do there will be someone out there who doesn’t approve. For now I can only follow my heart and go where it leads me. And even if everything I write from now on turns out to be nothing but drivel I’ll at least know that I spent my time doing what was important to me. If we go through life, living up to someone else’s expectations of who they want us to be, then that voice inside that is woven into our soul’s fabric will eventually wither and die, leaving behind nothing but some tattered remnants.

Today, my choice was “miserable”, but tomorrow it will darn well be “motivate.” It’s what has to be done and it IS my choice. Sometimes you’ve just got to suck it up and keep going. Because even if there’s not one person out there who cares if I ever write another word I can say, in all honesty that, I do. Let’s hope it stays that way. 🙂

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